| New Name :) |
[17 Sep 2006|12:05pm] |
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Regina Spektor |
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I've had this ljname for years now.
So let's start off fresh!
Leave all the good and bad memories here and begin a new chapter.
Let's look forward to the future and what's to come.
bucketofhearts
Add me :)
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| ♥ |
[14 Sep 2006|06:05pm] |
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Death Cab For Cutie |
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Ok heres's an update. Just plain and simple. No hype. No pictures. Just thoughts :)
So how's life?
So life as we know it is not too bad on this end. Actually, I've been loving life. I can't even put it into words or comprehend the capacity of knowledge I've gained out of life experience throughout this year. I've recovered from situations I never thought I'd find a way out of. I've gained friendships that could last a lifetime and I wouldn't mind at all. I've found trust and compatibility within people when I once thought it to be wishful thinking. I've gained serenity and comfort. Happiness and confidence. That's right...happiness. Oh how we take that for granted...but I've finally made it. After all the bruises and heartache, I'm here.
-Happiness- Oh hey Erica! Welcome! Please make yourself comfortable because you'll be staying for a while. Oh and take off your shoes your dragging dirt through the house.
-Erica- Oh thanks happiness! You're too much!
Haha a bit far fetched but none the less amazing.
What's to come?
Well school work of course. It's not as bad as I make it seem. Let's just say motivation needs to make it self comfortable with me because I sure as hell need it. My job is going great...the money has been slow though. I give every pay check to my mother so I can't spend it. So when I'm broke guys I'm broke.
What about fun?
There is ALWAYS room for fun! I get to see a lot of my friends lately. Like the other night me and mike had the best eating contest of all time. Me and kelsea drive around singing straylight run. Good stuff like that :) Mike also took me out to eat for my 17th birthday! We love singalongs. I have a lot of great shows coming my way which is pretty neat. I want to go see the nutcracker at ppac when the time comes.
What about the love life?
HAH that's golden. Non-existent. As of now, I wouldn't have it any other way. Believe me...I'd love to be young and in love but the puzzle pieces never quite fit together for me. I'm like that awkward puzzle piece from a different puzzle thrown into pieces that fit perfectly. It's not so bad though :) I rely on myself and I can work on making myself a better person. When the time is right, that boy will come into my life and sweep me off my feet. As of now, they are comfortably glued to the ground.
Any last thoughts?
I hope senior year is great.
And thankyou kelsea, mike, abe, shannon, and amanda for making life so wonderful.
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| Thinking is all. |
[27 Aug 2006|10:25am] |
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Morning television. |
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Alright I know I haven't been keeping up with this thing...
But life has been moving way too fast for me to even catch my breath.
I feel kind of dumb talking about this in my livejournal, but I figured I'd get some real feelings out before the monster-update full of summer photos that is coming your way.
I feel very lost people. I've always known I've felt this way but it was weird...when I woke up this morning I woke up with the strangest gut feeling about everything. I feel like I tossed myself in my own cage and it was locked with a key that got misplaced a long time ago. Friends...just don't fit together as nicely as they used to. It's that type of deal where you are so close to finishing that puzzle but one big piece will always be missing. People...just something to watch and make you feel a little bit better about your situation. They are sneaky and won't think twice about betraying you. This is why I'm so fond of children...I'd rather be around kids anyday. The only thing that may get to them is a scrape on the knee or not getting that reese cup on the store shelf. That's it. They are so angelic and so pure in everything they could possibly set their mind to. They aren't afraid of the future. They aren't afraid of getting older. You see I kind of turned into my own enemy. I'm so afraid. Senior year this is it guys. Then what happens? That's when you see alot of people disappear.
I know what's to come for me this year. I live my life so afraid of hurting everyone's feelings because I can never make up my mind. It kills me knowing that so many truths have to be hidden in order for life to just go on normally. Even if I attempted the truth I'd get a taste of whats to come. I don't want that...not at all. I just want to keep a steady group of friends. I know four solid friends. Don't leave me guys. Don't let me push you away. Let me feel comfortable in telling you my highs and lows. Be there for me even if I don't always keep in touch.
I'm so fucking selfish. Not with others...I do a great deal for others even if it goes unnoticed. But with myself. I'll make people just sit around and wait for me to realize exactly what I want...and when the wait is over it's usually not them that I've spent all this time thinking about. They get hurt. You guys I'm always gunna hurt you. You know why? Because i'm so afraid of hurting you that I'll try to please you so hard...until I can't go any further. I know my limits. We all do. And I know the looks on all of your faces very well. I know what upsets you or excites you. And when I get to know someone so well I never want to be their disappointment...because I've seen what the past did to them.
I know eveything is not right. I know that I keep everything to myself. Well kelsea knows everything but she doesn't make me feel stupid at all for the words I have to say. Everyone else is too busy being trapped in their own cages I guess.
So this is growing up huh? This is it? This is what I used to dream about when I was a little girl? It's all so funny in a sick and twisted way. It's as if I perfected the game called life. No not the board game but the real life...I know how to push most people to their limits and I know how to make them ecstatic.
My problem you ask? Is that my feeling are like making a difficult soup.
2 parts fear.
1 part selfishness.
3 parts acting.
6 parts true feelings.
5 parts misleading.
8 parts genuine.
That actually makes no sense so take it how you would like. It's just an example.
Overall I know what I want and it's not here. Going to new hampshire made me realize a whole lot of stuff that I chose to blind myself from. I can't hurt your feelings I just can't. It's the worst I could possibly be capable of doing. I realized what I want out of life. I achieved peace there. Something that has been absent for quite a long time. What is the number one feeling that I felt while coming home? That's right fear. Fear of everything I left behind.
It's inevitable that everyone will hurt someone throughout their lifetime...I'm just not capable of doing it without tearing myself apart.
So I'm sitting here now...stressing about work and school.
I don't think I'll feel comfortable with myself for the entire year.
I'm sick of everything somehow getting ruined.
But this mess...I got myself in.
And I gotta find a way out.
:(
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| "Hey your sock's untied" |
[26 Jun 2006|10:42am] |
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Daly's Gone Wrong |
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Jeez it's been a while!
So summer has finally started :D -hallelujah chorus-
School is done and I passed everything thank god.
So what's been going on lately?
I really don't remember to be honest haha.
-I went to six flags with all the physics classes :) Corey showed up and surprised me he's so cute. As I was getting on my first ride and the roller coaster was pulling out I see him standing on the ground smiling up at me. I couldn't be more blessed♥ He's my boyfriend now and it'll be our one month on July 7th.
-My and kelsea have been hanging out a ton and I love that girl :) I love driving around with those crazy masks, taking pretty much the best pictures in the world, have girl chats in her pool, going to lincoln woods to explore and just kicking back and laughing. We plans to drive around with masks and moustaches so watch out for us. And I can't wait till we go in little boats to explore waters :]
-Amanda left for syria and I miss her already. We had a few girls days before she left. Me, her, abe, jackie, and chantel went to Poppy's for breakfast. We also had a little pool party over Abe's house. I love those girl's with all of my heart.
-Chilled over Jackie's one night with Chantel. We swam a ton, played sea-monster, and ordered pizza so I could see my boy haha :D
-Went to target with chantel, abe, and jackie. We also ran through the rain which was pretty wild. We hit up the mall as well. Working pays off because I can buy cute clothes now :)
-Had a girls night with chantel, jackie, and amanda a little while ago. We had a huge photoshoot! Amazing time.
-Drove around and got lost with chantel and my boyfriend. Way too many laughs :D We also ate at the country buffet.
-Me and the boy drove around a ton, ate lots of food like usual :)
-Gave dan singing lessons for a bit and then went to josies and hung out with dan, lyndsey, and marissa for a bit.
-Chilled at chantel's with shannon and corey and watched wayne's world :P
-Went and saw the omen a while back with amanda, carney, mike, kelsea and corey. The worst movie ever made.
-Went out to eat at Fridays with carney, mike, corey, ryan,and amanda. So much fun! I want to do that again. Then we went and saw some movie i don't remember what it was but I didn't really like it haha it was too long. Oh V for vendetta. Carney got a flat tire. That was pretty amuzing.
-Went to see taking back sunday and angels and airwaves with abe and hilary :D I had a blast! I saw a ton of people there like alex bailey, landan, and so much more. It was pretty rad.
-Went out for lunch with kelsea to panera and then went and spent 40 dollars on undies!
-Providence trips with kelsea as well :D We love pizza on thayer. I think it's halarious how she honks at birds and how we blast 2gether with the windows down :D
-Monestary with kelsea :]
Everything else is just a blur.
One thing I know for sure is life has been amazing lately :D
Full of love and great friends.
( +100 )
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| "It's a little tight back here" -Kelsea |
[31 May 2006|08:48pm] |
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Kevin Devine |
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What's been going on lately in my world?
-Providence and Thayer street with Kelsea [Jackie one time, Kaitlena the other]
-Foxboro/skatepark and dels runs with Kelsea :D
-Lots of hawaiian pizza on thayer
-Spent mad money at a candy store [10 bucks on JUST chocolate covered peanuts]
-Slater park with Kelsea and Jackie
-Chantel and I walked around town chatting and singing
-Chantel's cookout
-Delivering pizza's with the best boy ever, my girl chantel, and my boy dan
-Icecream and dels with corey :] + driving all around town chatting it up
-Lots of working
I love life right now :]
The people that would live to bring me down are out of my life.
I see this as a new chapter...and I think everything will be better this time around.
I love the friends I have and I love spending lots of time with my favorites.
I love the fact that I met corey and he's so amazing.
He surprised me with this bouquet of beautiful roses and he made me a pineapple pizza [yum yum] an put the pineapples in the shape of a heart.
So in conclusion...everything is finally going how it's supposed to.
I've been storing stress in my head since the new year started and I'm glad to start off with a fresh slate.
( Half mine/Half Kelsea's )
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| "Hi welcome to dunkin donuts, we sell great ones bigger than your cock!" |
[21 May 2006|08:57pm] |
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Armor For Sleep |
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Within these past couple weeks...
+Went to Olive Garden with Myshele, Michelle, Jess, Shannon, Jackie and Chris.
+Went out for icecream with amanda :D [so let's play doctor babe! LOL]
+Went to the mall with Kerry and Bri
+Went to TGIFridays with Brianna and Amanda. A drunk man 23 year old guy and his friend randomally sat at our table, ate some of our chocolate cake and chatted, then said we were beautiful and paid for our entire dinner tab! [SCORE]
+Went to Providence with Amanda and Dan. Met Corey before that. Bought a cute outfit at Urban outfitters, had fun on thayer, hit up the mall, and hung out with mickey and his friend forrest with amanda. Mandi picked us up and we chatted.
+Worked ALOT. The people there are pretty fun :D
+And the rest of the time...probably hung out with amanda or slept haha. If im forgetting something let me know.
Failing most subjects in school.
Too tired to hardly do anything anymore.
It'll get better I'm not worried :]
( She wanted him to stick it in her! )
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| "MOOSE. MOOSE. MOOSE." |
[12 May 2006|08:09pm] |
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Kevin Devine |
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Damn I haven't updated in forever.
Live has been moving at the speed of light and I kinda like it :]
Not as much sleep as I used to get, but I'll grow used to it.
So let's rewind completely to last week:
Tuesday: May 2, 2006 - Sunday: May 7, 2006
Tuesday I had work.
Wednesday I stayed home from school. I think I may have a sinus infection because I'm still sick.
I couldn't even breathe that day so I said fuck it.
At night, I went to the circus with Jackie, Jackie's mom, Chantel, Abe, and Amanda :D
It was amazing! We all had icecream and cotton candy :]
Im so upset...I took a bunch of photos but accidentally deleted them all :[
The elephants were so neat :D My favorite part was the motorcycles in the cage. I was amazed!
So we all gave jackie's mom the biggest hug ever for surprising us with such an amazing thing :D
We all hopped back into 'the band van' an had a singalong the entire ride home and shared tons of laughs.
Those girls truly warm my heart.
Thursday was probably insignificant.
Friday I went on a field trip with amanda and everyone to the RISD museum in Providence.
It was real nifty...some of the stuff was just so incredible. The pieces must have taken forever to complete.
Then me, abe, and amanda went to Dels and then came home. I did abe's hair :]
Me and amanda went to our makeup appointments and all that jazz.
And after a bunch of crazyness and bullshit, we got there and ended up having a not so bad time.
We headed back to amanda's and I slept over.
Saturday was when me, amanda, kaitlena, and bryan went to providence :D
We hit up the mall first and then we did thayer for a while.
I ran into James and it was nice to see his face again :]
Then we drove to Dave's and picked up a bunch of food for our little outdoor picnic.
Headed home, made the food, and ate it!
Then we all watched the Goonies and the night ended.
Sunday
I had work. Got my first paycheck of my life which was very neat.
Monday: May 8, 2006 - Friday: May 12, 2006
As for Monday and Tuesday, I don't think I really did anything at all. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Wednesday I had work which wasn't bad at all.
Linel brought me home and I did her hair just to see if she wanted to do it for prom.
Thursday I went over Amanda's after school :D
We pretty much had the best day ever.
We played dress up and took lots of fun pictures!
We ordered pizza as well and I accidentally tipped the guy $10 lmao.
I thought he said 28.27...when it was 20.27. It's alright I guess...he was hot enough for it.
We had THE BEST singalongs and we drank tea :D
We warmed up our voices the right way and they were very clear and strong together. We are getting so good :]
We had so many laughs and such. I love that girl with all of my heart!
They took me home around 10.
Friday I just went to school and came home and napped.
Plans for boston with loafy were ruined b/c of rain.
Best thing about this week? [besides amanda]
The crazy ass singalongs with steven in the car in the morning with him and kelsea.
( Way overdue! )
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| "Four hot girls...in just underwear. Come over" -Kaitlena |
[01 May 2006|10:00pm] |
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Kevin Devine |
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::Friday::
Work went well.
Hung out with amanda, kaitlena, and tara :D
We chilled, had singalongs, and got taco bell.
Drove around blasting music and being girls and having fun.
It was a nice relaxing night with amazing girls.
I did amanda's and kaitlena's makeup.
Seriously makeup and hair is my passion.
Slept over and laughed myself to sleep.
Kaitlena makes the best phone calls in the world :D
Lots and lots of giggles.
Me and amanda need more practice singing!
We haven't practiced in a while and we don't sound as good as we used to.
But hey there is always room for improvement.
::Saturday::
Work all day.
I was kind of upset all day because of what happened before work.
I ended up crying in the bathroom...idk the day got better once I got it off my mind and focused.
Made plans with Val and Ryan...but ended up being too tired so I just slept in.
::Sunday::
Work again. I think I'm finally getting the hang of this thing :]
I made tabitha's latte and she enjoyed it<3
::Monday::
Amazing day at work :D
Im finally relaxed and I understand mostly everything.
The girls I work with are super nice.
Im gunna do Linel's makeup and hair for prom! We are gunna set up a test date to see what she wants :]
Work takes alot off my mind...I enjoy it.
::Upcoming::
Jackie's mom finished my dress. Everything is so good. Hopefully it fits alright!
Tomorrow I have work.
Wednesday me and abe are going out to get flowers for the boys and then me, her, jackie, chantel, and maybe amanda are all going to the circus at night! :D So excited!
Thursday me and valyncia are going to providence.
Friday is junior prom! :D:D:D
Still trying to get saturday morning out of work.
I have the worst cold ever! :[
( Keeping busy. )
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